This is it.

Lately in our quiet home telephone calls have become quite the norm. Most of them are paperwork phone calls, a few are a bit more exciting as we hope for more news on Miss A, while others tend to be a bit more heartbreaking. A few days after Miss A joined our home, I was informed that her biological mom and dad weren't returning the phone calls of CPS. Although I couldn't help but be heartbroken for this tiny infant who was essentially being abandoned, I was also hopeful that maybe, just maybe we could adopt. That hope greatly diminished though last week when we were informed about a home study being performed on a family member of her biological mom. Of course we were secretly hoping that the investigation would come up as a dead end and that there would be issues that would dismiss the family as non-viable; however, until everything played out, we were left with no answers. Last night though that all changed as I picked up the phone to hear about a family that was just as great as me. My. Heart. Broke.

Before Miss A arrived in our home, we were in the trenches of hopelessness. This little spirit though somehow made everything better. She made everything complete and filled our home with joy. She instantly took away all the pain and frustration of the past year and she gave Richard and I a new purpose in life, a type of peace as we held her in our arms. Within days panic started to creep in. What if she leaves me? What will I do without her?

So on Friday (tomorrow), we will have the biggest interview of our life. Tomorrow I meet for the first time the CPS worker that holds a big portion of this little girl's future in her hands. She doesn't know that we know (I've been blessed with a mole that is actually involved in the case), but that's to my advantage. She doesn't know that I gather from her desire to meet both of us (literally "go-out-of-her-way-to-accommodate-my-work-schedule" meet both of us), that she's comparing. She's gathering the last of her data so she can submit her report and recommendation to the judge. Yes, this is that pivotal moment that we've been dreading.

I've never been good at selling, but it does appear that somehow...someway, Richard and I need to sell ourselves, our family, and our home. We've got to do it quick and we've got to do it well.

No pressure though. It's not like my heart will shatter...