Thursday, June 27, 2013

Just Wasn't Ready...

Some of the discussions in our home lately have been about the overwhelming amount of animals that we have. Although some homes might be able to handle 2 cats and 2 dogs without any problem, I'm finding it a bit too overcrowded. Earlier this week, Richard and I decided to move forward with finding new homes for 2 of our pets - the "kid unfriendly" cat as well as our recent puppy rescue, Cassie (we rescued her from a neglectful neighbor). It kills me to have to move them, almost like I have given up, but I did try and I can only hope that they will both find forever homes. Homes that will be perfect for them.

Today though, I have spent most of the day crying. I must have not clearly stated myself when I said my prayers earlier this week. I prayed that we could find relief from the overwhelming feelings that seem to surround us right now with our 4-legged friends. However, instead of having relief come in the form of new homes opening up for Missy and Cassie, I lost my best 4-legged friend - Oscar.

These past few months I have watched Oscar decline. I suppose there were many red flags, but I ignored them. I wasn't ready to face the fact that my Oscar wasn't Oscar anymore. His eyes spoke of discomfort, his body slowly loosing the ability to jump. Last night I cuddled his very weak and frail body for the last time, and today I gave him his very last kiss.

I wasn't ready to say good bye to my friend. I wasn't ready to watch him drop his head like he did on that cold hard metal table. I wasn't ready to end 16 years of my life with him.

I just wasn't ready.

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