Some of the discussions in our home lately have been about the overwhelming amount of animals that we have. Although some homes might be able to handle 2 cats and 2 dogs without any problem, I'm finding it a bit too overcrowded. Earlier this week, Richard and I decided to move forward with finding new homes for 2 of our pets - the "kid unfriendly" cat as well as our recent puppy rescue, Cassie (we rescued her from a neglectful neighbor). It kills me to have to move them, almost like I have given up, but I did try and I can only hope that they will both find forever homes. Homes that will be perfect for them.
Today though, I have spent most of the day crying. I must have not clearly stated myself when I said my prayers earlier this week. I prayed that we could find relief from the overwhelming feelings that seem to surround us right now with our 4-legged friends. However, instead of having relief come in the form of new homes opening up for Missy and Cassie, I lost my best 4-legged friend - Oscar.
These past few months I have watched Oscar decline. I suppose there were many red flags, but I ignored them. I wasn't ready to face the fact that my Oscar wasn't Oscar anymore. His eyes spoke of discomfort, his body slowly loosing the ability to jump. Last night I cuddled his very weak and frail body for the last time, and today I gave him his very last kiss.
I wasn't ready to say good bye to my friend. I wasn't ready to watch him drop his head like he did on that cold hard metal table. I wasn't ready to end 16 years of my life with him.
I just wasn't ready.
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